Beyond the Feeling: Reclaiming Your True Self
How to Observe Your Emotions Without Becoming Them
Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I am sad” or “I am anxious,” as if those feelings define who you are? In reality, you are not your emotions. You may feel sadness or experience anxiety, but these are simply passing states—not your identity. Learning to separate what you feel from who you are is a powerful step toward emotional freedom and self-mastery.
Gaining control over our emotions isn’t about suppressing them or pretending they don’t exist. It’s about becoming an observer—someone who notices feelings as they arise, acknowledges them, and lets them move through without letting them take over. This practice takes time, patience, and energy, but it begins with a simple shift: instead of saying “I am sad,” try saying “I feel sadness.” The words we use to describe ourselves matter deeply. What we say to and about ourselves shapes our perspective and, ultimately, our reality. By changing our language, we begin to change our experience.
If you’re an empath like me, this can be especially challenging. Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between your own emotions and those you’ve absorbed from others. But remember, your true self is the one who observes your thoughts and feelings, not the one who is swept away by them. As author Michael A. Singer explains in The Untethered Soul, you are the awareness behind your experiences—the steady presence that watches emotions come and go.
By choosing to observe rather than identify with your emotions, you reclaim your power. You become the one in control of your behavior and reactions, rather than being controlled by fleeting feelings. This perspective doesn’t make you less empathetic or less human—it makes you more resilient, more compassionate, and more authentically you. Let your emotions inform you, but never let them define you. Speak to yourself with kindness and clarity, and watch as your reality transforms to reflect the truth of who you really are.
2 Quotes
“Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.”
- Eckhart Tolle
“When you separate your identity from your emotions, you create space. And within this space exists the power of choice—the choice to be who you want to be.”
- Susan David
2 Affirmations
I am a soul having a human experience — my emotions do not define me.
Everything that comes to my awareness is a tool to assist me in my growth, prosperity, and evolution.
2 Questions
Ask yourself…
How does your self-talk shape your reality? Write down some common thoughts you have about yourself and explore how they impact your feelings and actions.
Reflect on a recent situation where your emotions influenced your behavior. How might observing those feelings first change your response next time?
“Your true self is the one who observes your thoughts and feelings, not the one who is swept away by them.” Jordan
Great message about not letting our feelings control us!